Why is it that the words that we write for ourselves are always so much better than the words we write for others?

...That's by William Forrester from a very inspirational movie Finding Forrester starring Sean Connery and Rob Brown.

Good question Mr. Forrester. May I offer my thoughts on that? Yes, thank you.

I believe that is so because no one can really express your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, but yourself. No one really knows what or how you feel, even though some people say they do. Maybe they understand it, but do they really know it? Sure, we all get our hearts broken, we all get disappointed and get hurt...but they are not of the same degree. We love the same things, but how much... that is the difference. I guess it's the same as being happy or being contented or being successful, for that matter. No one can do those things for you...you have to do them yourself. Maybe someone can make things happen for you, but that's as far as what others can do for you.

This is as far as I can go with this topic. Actually, I was supposed to post this last night but got distracted. Anyhow, just my two cents. 

Yikes!

I tried to design this blog. It turned out this way. Hah. Double yikes. I'm totally lousy at this. I did try though. Oh well...

It's that time again...

I really hate introspection. I really do. There is absolutely nothing I hate more than psychoanalyzing my own self...my thoughts and my feelings. The frustrating thing is, I always do it. I can't help it. I just lay there, just trying to get some zzzzz's and before I know it, BAM! I'm thinking about my future, what I really want to do with myself....and I always end up praying to God . Please, please God, help me find myself. I believe I am seriously lost. I don't mind the praying part. I don't pray a lot to be honest, so I guess maybe doing this occasionally or okay, often, is a good thing. The part that really gets to me though is the thing that I always pray for. I don't like it. It's frustrating, and frankly, it puts me in an extremely bad mood. I'm friggin' 25 years old...and I'm still here at a lost of what I want to do with my life.


I spent my day looking for jobs online. Oh, I got it all figured out. I want to teach. There are ample opportunities out there... FOR REAL TEACHERS!!! I'm not saying I'm not a real teacher. I'd like to think I am. I'm not an Education graduate though. I only have my TESOL certificate which by the way is totally "bogus" in a way that we didn't even have our demonstration. I really did learn a lot though. But I mean, you can always wing it, right? Yeah.. NOT! So anyhow, I'm thinking of finishing my training.. which means do the demo. Whatever, really.

So anyhow, I am forever jealous of those people who's got their lives mapped out, you know. For example, actors, athletes, musicians, artists. They're prolly really young when they figured out that they wanted to be actors or dancers. Man, to do something you absolutely love and get paid doing it...that's the way to live. Best gig ever. I wish I could act, or sing or dance or even paint. But alas, I have no artistic bone in my big ass body. I got no talent that I can showcase. Those people better not take anything for granted. They are the luckiest people I know.I hope they know it.

I always digress. Heh. I tend to do that a lot too. That's kinda how my life turned out. I wanted to be this and that.. but I always end up not doing the things that I wanna do because I always get distracted by other stuff. I guess that's life. You just gotta deal with the consequences of your decisions.

So this post is absolutely nonsensical...just random musings of a lost little girl...maybe not so little. Heh. I got a sense of humor. I've always liked that about myself. HAHA. Mygosh, I'm so not funny.

Man, I am so petty. I mean, people in Libya are still fighting for their freedom. Some people are fighting for their lives. People in some parts of Africa are everyday, trying to survive. People with cancer or other terminal diseases...It really is so petty to think that I have nothing to be absolutely happy about and I have a miserable life just because I haven't found something that I wanna do. I'm still figuring things out.

I hope I get lucky. Heh. But you know what they always say... you don't wait for happiness, you go looking for it...something to that effect. LOL, I sound baked. I'm perfectly sober though. Yeah. Heh. I just need to take a breather and relax. God's got my back, I know it. I'm not alone. I have my family and friends with me. I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm blessed and loved. I just need to find it deep within me...the answer. That might take awhile though.. so for now, I'm just gonna coast.

Sounds like a plan. :)